Updated: Dec 6, 2019
How do I know this is real or just my imagination?
These are questions you may ask yourself before you fully commit to a forever relationship or just questioning the relationship you are now in.
This is such an important question because love, above all else in life, is the single most important source of happiness.
It is when you cannot distinguish between real love and imagined love that marriages and relationships fall apart.
What is real love?
Real love comes from the soul, it is held in the heart and is everlasting. It is true that no relationship is perfect – there will be disagreements and glitches that will be experienced. But these hiccups do not diminish real love.
What is imagined love?
Imagined love is a co-dependency based on personal needs such as financial, caretaking, sexuality, children, security and other emotional elements. This co-dependency leads to the deception of believing the filling of a personal need is true love.
What should I do?
The first thing to ask yourself when questioning the real vs imagined love is whether the relationship is fulfilling a need. If your needs are not being met, would you stay in that relationship based on the feelings you have for that person? These feelings are their personality, goodness, warmth, humour, and their sensitivity to important values of life.
Do you really love that person for who they are?
Or for what needs they can provide for you?
So now you have the answer to:
Is this real love or imagined love?
Dr. Paul Leon Masters’, in his “The Theocentric Way of Life” states it perfectly:
“Short-term imagined relationships or marriages are generally brought on by temporary infatuation with a person’s appearance, their position in life, financial security, fame, or power. It could also have to do with your own loneliness, sexual hunger, and financial insecurity—that is, the need to be looked after or taken care of."
And none of these attributes has anything to do with real love. So to answer the question, is this real love or imagined love, you must be totally honest with yourself.
Your imagination may try to convince you that this is true love. Plenty of people falsely believe that they are in love with someone when in actuality it is only fulfilling a need. What this misconception may lead to the eventual breakup of your relationship.
One of the saddest things about spending time in an imagined love relationship is the wasted time that you could have actually been experiencing real love.
Conversely, it may be that you have to experience one or more imagined loves in your life to finally realize what real love is. One way to avoid this dilemma of imagined love—something based on need rather than love—is to realize that you are are the source all your needs.
You must realize that you do not need to look for anyone else to meet your needs. If you understand that you are the source of all your needs, you will be free from trying to fulfill those needs through another person.
Being free of such needs gives you a state of mind and heart where you are truly able to see and discern whether yours is real love or simply imagined love.
In real love, two souls fall in love with each other, or in the case of soul mates #soulmates, they are already in love with each other, as their love is eternal. The meeting of two physical bodies and two minds is secondary to an eternal source relationship that already exists. This is why, when real love is present, both people have an appreciation of the other person from within.
There is an appreciation of the beauty contained within another’s soul, for the beauty is a mirrored reflection of their own soul. For this reason, in real love there is a lasting feeling of oneness between people and their souls.
When you are with another person and you feel yourself seeing an inner beauty within that person with what can only be described as the eyes of your soul, then indeed, real love may be present.
If you would like to explore more, ask me about the Prepare-Enrich relationship analysis program.
I hope this answers the question: Is this love?
Dr. Paul Leon Masters’ “The Theocentric Way of Life,” Volume 3: Module 2. 2016